To the Lonely Military Wife…

Loneliness is a harsh reality of being a military wife. Each PCS (permanent change of station), each move, each tdy (temporary training assignment), and each deployment provides one too many moments of isolation. But it doesn’t have the final say. To you, the lonely military wife, victory over your loneliness is just as much a reality as the loneliness itself.

I wish I could give you an easy “how to” for defeating your unsolicited solitude. Instead, I believe equipping you with fundamental reminders will give you the encouragement and tools you need to emerge from your lonely season victorious.

It’s a season that will pass

“For everything there is a season, and time for every matter under heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1).

As I look back on the times my husband and I have PCS’d, I remember the inevitable loneliness that immediately followed. But I also remember that my isolation didn’t last forever. And neither will yours. You may be a lonely military wife right now, but soon you will drop the lonely and take on friendships.

This season of loneliness will pass as you begin to meet other people, whether through your squadron or a church. I can’t tell you how long it will take to get to a point where you no longer feel lonely, but I can say that it is coming. Look to that moment with encouragement that what you’re enduring now is not forever.

Lonely in person, but never in Christ

“I will not leave you or forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6 ; Joshua 1:5). | “For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9).

No matter where you are, you are never without Christ. No matter how lonely you feel, you are never without the Lord your God. If your identity is in Christ first, fulfilling the role of being a military wife will give you the freedom to find comfort with Him in your loneliness.

This season of loneliness is an opportunity for you to learn to abide in Him, to dwell with Him when you have no other to dwell with. What a refreshing and rewarding time this can be to boldly build up your relationship with Christ!

Living in a technological age

I honestly can’t imagine being a military wife during the days when letters were the only form of communication. Though technology is a bittersweet tool nowadays, this is a moment when it’s sweet. Nothing compares or takes the place of the value of in-person friendships and interaction. But until that time when you create a community around you, technology allows you to have instant communication with those you already trust and know.

During my seasons of loneliness, it was a huge blessing to call my close family and friends when I needed it. Though it’s important to first rely on Christ during seasons of loneliness, there is also comfort in communicating with people you already know through technology. We are not meant to be alone. So during this season of isolation, use the tools God has given you!

Your season of loneliness will comfort others

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those are in a ny affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

Just as God comforts you in your loneliness, both with Himself and with your friends and family via technology, you will be able to comfort others when they experience their seasons of loneliness. You will know exactly what a new military wife (even new to the area) feels after they PCS or their husband deploys because you’ve been there. And therefore will know exactly how to comfort them and encourage them.

Your loneliness is training to know how to share the comfort God has shown you with those around you.

Community will come

I know from personal experience how you feel right now. The days are long and all you want is one friend to have a cup of coffee with or your husband to finally return home. Though you may not have made any friends at this point or there are still weeks before the deployment ends, community will come. You will make friends. You will find fellowship. You will be surrounded by others. But you have to be willing and vulnerable to open yourself to that community.

Prayerfully ask the Lord to bring you the friends you need. Ask Him for boldness to step out in the unknown and find those friends. He will provide.

You are being made stronger

This will unlikely be your last time experiencing loneliness. But just as the Lord is equipping you to endure this season, He is teaching you to know how to handle the next season. You are learning that God is with you and will grow in that knowledge as time goes on. You are growing more bold to take that first step out of your shell to meet other people. You are discovering the gift of fellowship, while at the same time learning how to do without for a while.

In all this, God is creating you to be stronger – stronger in your faith, stronger in your ability to handle hard situations, and stronger in your resilience. If you’ve ever done an intense workout, you know that strengthening doesn’t come without some pain. And right now, your spiritual muscles are being strengthened through the pain of loneliness. But healing is happening even in the pain.

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To the lonely military wife, loneliness doesn’t define you. It doesn’t have the final say. Through Christ, you have every opportunity to be victorious over your isolation. This season will pass. Yet it’s a season that allows you room to dwell with Christ like never before, to learn how to comfort others in their loneliness, to grow strong in the face of adversity, and stay in connection with your loved ones back home. God has you in this season for a purpose. So lean on Him and boldly walk in faith, trusting He will carry you through.

If you want more biblical encouragement on this topic of loneliness as a military wife, read through this 5-day Ruth devotional. If anyone experienced the kind of loneliness military wives deal with, Ruth has. Explore similar situations Ruth endured that can easily cause anyone to feel lonely. But even more so, find out what she did in order to conquer her loneliness. Click here for access to the “5-Day Devotion on Ruth: For Military Wives Struggling with Loneliness.”