7 Unnecessary Worries New Military Wives Have About Venturing On Base

Becoming a military wife, whether you just got married or have been married for a while, is both extremely exciting but also nerve-wracking. It’s a whole new world of rules and regulations that you have never had to follow or even be aware of. Stepping on a military base the first few times, and maybe the first few months, is daunting because of the list of things that you have to keep in the forefront of your mind as you enter the base, drive around, walk around, and exit the base.

When I got married to my husband, there were so many new things that I was learning all at once, especially in regards to being on a military base. I started getting nervous that I wouldn’t remember everything that I was supposed to remember. Which then led to me feeling like I had butterflies hammering my stomach every time I approached the gate on base and drove through to the “other side.” After multiple times of doing this, I started getting the hang of it. But every once in a while, I still have a little freak out if I’m remembering everything I’m supposed to remember.

So here’s a little list of things that new military wives are prone to worry about. But don’t! I’m not going to simply list them off and say “good luck!” I’ll tell you how I became more at ease and give you tips so that you can be at ease too:)

1. Getting Your New DEERS* I.D. Card Scanned

The actual process of getting your DEERS I.D. is not that hard…for you. Your husband is the one who has to fill out most of the paperwork to get you registered in the system. You’ll help a little bit telling him your information to put on the paper. Then he’ll escort you on base and take you to the DEERS office so that you can get your picture taken. Other than having to wait for someone to help you, the process is pretty quick. It’s pretty similar to getting your driver’s license.

This doesn’t sound like anything to worry about at all. Simply getting your DEERS card is not scary….it’s when it comes time to use it that makes it scary. Sure the person who made your card double checked that the barcode on the back works when scanned, but the question of whether it actually works or not just seems to linger in your head for awhile. ‘Maybe their scanner is different since it’s already hooked up to the computer that is currently showing my face and info.’ The real test is using it at the front gate. Going through the gate the first 50 times is already scary enough, but now you have to give them a new I.D. card that may or may not work. And if you’re by yourself without your husband to escort you on, then it makes it that much more intimidating.

But don’t worry! If it worked at the DEERS office when they scanned it to double check, it’ll work at the gate. And as long as you don’t have anything to hide, then you’re fine!;)

I had to go get a card twice, not because I lost mine, but because the first one I had was temporary until I gave them proof for further information. Both times they went through the process of creating the card. Both times they double checked to make sure the barcode was working. Both times they scanned it. And both times I made it through the gate without any hassle. So don’t worry, you’ll make it through just fine.

*DEERS is the system where military family members/dependents are enrolled in order that you are recognized by the government and military as a family member/spouse and so that you gain access to military benefits (i.e. healthcare, ability to enter base, access to commissary, etc.).

2. Driving on Base

If you’re anything like me, then you’re terrified to get a ticket…anywhere. But you’re also not terrified enough to risk speeding. But there’s definitely a difference between driving on city highways and driving on base roads. Driving city highways or even driving through town doesn’t make you worry about getting a ticket until you see that one police officer and quickly check everything you’ve done in the last 30 seconds that might get you a ticket. Driving on base, there’s always that lingering tension because the rules are a lot more strict.

My husband continues to remind me that I need to drive the speed limit and not a mile an hour over. He also has to remind me to watch for pedestrians on base. It get’s a little difficult when they’re all dressed in camo, but at least we know their camo is working!

Sure, I pay a lot closer attention to how I drive on base because I know they’ll pull you over for going 1 mile an hour over the speed limit, not using your blinker (long enough), or whatever they can find. But it’s more so the fact that many of these on base police officers work on the federal level rather than the state level. Now I’m not 100% sure what that means for me in terms of getting pulled over, but it sure freaks me out. It’s like a whole new level of cop. Cops themselves don’t scare me, and they shouldn’t scare you at all, but the power they have in giving tickets scares me enough to go exactly the speed limit.

So, as long as you go the speed limit too, then you should have no problem. Basically, just drive like the police officer is in your passenger seat holding a clipboard and making notes of your driving.

3. Paying Attention to All the Signs

Not only is driving on base worrisome because of how strict the rules are, there are all these other rules that you have to follow that you’ve never really had to before. So not only are you trying to remember every little thing you were taught when learning how to drive and trying not to get a ticket, you have to pay attention to the many signs that are around base that aren’t your typical everyday street signs.

Depending on the base, there are signs that say what gates are open at which time, signs that say you can’t turn left during certain hours, and signs that say who can park where. It’s not so much the fact that you have to read a sign with certain times on it, it’s having to read it in military times. Trying to remember what time 1700 means (that’s 5:00 p.m.) while figuring out where to turn is a little overwhelming…all while making sure you’re driving perfectly. The trick here is paying attention to your husband when he’s driving during certain hours. He can be the guinea pig on this one. Once you drive it a few times, you’ll get the hang of it.

Extra tip: don’t park in the “expecting mothers” spot at the commissary…unless of course you’re an expecting mother.

4. Paying Attention to All the Songs

The other thing to remember when driving is the songs that play during the day. I’ll give you the list so you can keep it in mind:

1. Reveille: this song is played in the morning when they raise the flag, marking the beginning of the duty day.
2. Retreat: this song is played at the end of the duty day. NOTE: the end of the duty day is not the same as the end of the day. It means the end of the general work day for that base.
3. Taps: this song indicates when the quiet hours of the base start. NOTE: this is the song that is played at the very end of the day.

Here’s why I list this one as a possible worry…it’s sometimes difficult to hear. The thing with these songs is that you have to stop whatever you’re doing outside – driving, walking, etc. – and wait until the song is over. The good part about us civilians is we don’t have to worry about standing at attention and knowing when to salute. Each base is different in the times they choose to mark the beginning and end of the duty day and when quiet hours are. So just make sure you know when the songs play. If you don’t, just ask your husband, he’ll know. If you don’t hear the song because you’re in your car, it’s helpful to notice and keep an eye out for when everyone else either pulls over or stops walking.* But again, it’s one of those things that after a few times, you’ll get the hang of it.

*Some bases don’t follow this rule strictly, or they play it so early in the morning that it shouldn’t be a problem for you.

5. Going to the On Base Doctor for the First Time

More than likely you’ve been enrolled in the military healthcare: Tricare. And more than likely, unless you specified otherwise, you have Tricare Prime. Tricare Prime has a whole lot of ups and downs, which we won’t go into now. One of the up sides is that you hardly have to pay for anything. And if you go to the doctor on base, then you don’t have to pay squat. Which is nice, especially if you’re newly married and trying to figure out finances.

But going to the doctor on base for the first time is worrying. You have no idea what to expect. I know the first time I went to the on base doctor, I was going by myself (which is already making the experience more nerve-wracking) and I had no idea what to expect. I figured it would be similar to going to a regular doctor, but the ‘what if’ popped into my head. When I showed up, it didn’t feel normal. I gave them my I.D. card and they handed me a paper with hardly anything on it to hand to the nurse. The nice thing is that I didn’t have to fill out all this information about past medical history. But at the same time, that was a little unnerving. They only asked whether I felt safe at home or not.

Once I finally saw the doctor, everything from then on was normal. They checked my height and weight, asked some basic questions, checked my vitals, and took care of what I needed. Going to the doctor anyways can be hard; it’s extra anxiety I don’t want. There’s no need to worry though. Just take it one step at a time, calm yourself, and wait patiently. You’ll be just fine. It’s pretty similar to going to a normal doctor…minus all the camo.

6. Walking On Base and Passing a High Ranking Officer

My husband is always super aware of the ranks of the men and women around him. He has to be. It’s part of his job. Every time they pass an officer, they have to salute. When you’re just sitting and thinking about it, it’s pretty easy to come up with the answer that you don’t have to worry about saluting anyone, because you’re not in the military.

But then comes the time when you’re walking past a high ranking officer. For me, my mind starts going about a thousand different ways wondering what I should do. I know I shouldn’t salute because that is only reserved for military members. But should I smile? Should I look down at my feet as I’m walking? Should I wave? Should I pretend like I didn’t notice him? I don’t want to be rude, but I don’t know what to do. And it’s one thing when you’re by yourself walking, but it’s another when you’re with your husband. You do not want to do anything that will get him in trouble. Even though you have your fancy DEERS card, he is still liable for your mistakes. No pressure, right?

I’ll make it simple for you so you don’t have to worry about what you should do and have your brain go in a thousand different directions like mine.

Just smile.

There’s nothing offensive about a little smile. Some people may argue otherwise, because there are those people that will find anything to be offensive about. But in all truth, a smile is good. It shows respect and it’s not rude. It acknowledges the officer, but doesn’t take it too far. As a civilian, even though you’re a military wife, you are not held to the same obligations that your husband is held to – to a certain level. But in this situation, you are not to salute to them. So just give them a little smile and move on. Easy as that!

7. Knowing When and Where to Show Your I.D. Card

Let me let you in on a little secret… you’ll start to use your I.D. card more than you use your drivers license. I hardly ever have to use my drivers license.

It can be worrisome to know when and where to show your I.D. But just to be sure, always have your card on you like you would have your drivers license on you. You’ll use it often. I was amazed at how many times I had to open my wallet and show my card. At first, I was worried that I wouldn’t know when to show it or where to show it. So I learned to carry it always…and you should too.

As a quick rule of thumb (without getting into every place to use your card), anywhere that is related to military, ranging from the base itself to stores, are places you’ll probably need to show your card. Even if you’re at the commissary or something similar on base where you’ve already shown your card at the gate, you’ll still have to show it.

Something that I’ve done every time I use my card is to put it away right then and there in the same place as always. That way you won’t have to worry about where you put it last or if you lost it. It’s a nice way to give yourself confidence that you have your card when and where you need it.

Philippians 4:6 says “Do not be anxious about anything.”

Easier said than done, but it is a good reminder that as Christian women, we don’t need to worry about anything. The good news is that we have a loving God who cares for us. Yes we need to pay attention to these new rules and regulations of being a military wife, but they’re nothing that we need to spend time worrying over. Not only do we have a loving God who gives us no reason to be anxious about anything, but He’s given us a husband who can tell you exactly what you need to know and do when you need to do it.

I know it can be scary keeping track of all these new things, but I also know that when you start doing them over and over again, it’ll become second nature.

Let me know how you overcome your worries of being a new military wife!