“An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.”
It’s interesting that jewels are used here instead of something of a different value. If you think about it, jewels are highly valuable themselves (i.e. can be sold, traded, used for monetary purposes, etc.), are stunning, and are not common. As women, we put a lot of time, effort, and money into looking great and making ourselves look valuable. But here in this verse, and even the following verses, it’s not pointing to the outside characteristics of a woman, but the inside.
An excellent wife is more valued and more stunning than a jewel.
When I was visiting my husband a few weeks ago, we went to the mall to walk around and peruse the store front windows. During our indoor mini exercise, we stopped at Zales to look around. My husband is so cute; he wanted to look around to get an idea of what jewelry I like. I’m usually not one to wear a lot of jewelry. I just stick with some stud earrings, my wedding ring and maybe a necklace once in awhile. But let me tell you, I absolutely enjoyed looking at all the different types of stones and designs, pointing out the ones that I would totally wear. It made me feel stunning and valuable being around those jewels and jewelry, imagining what it would be like to wear some of them. And it made me feel SO valued by my husband, knowing that he wants to know my likes and dislikes, wanting to treat me for “future things,” as he says. It’s not so much the fact that he wants to get me some pretty things, real or not, it’s more the meaning behind it – his desire to want me to know he values me, loves me, and that I am precious to him.
What is an excellent wife?
If you read the rest of the verses, you can get a pretty good idea of what it looks like and what it means to be an excellent wife. But I’ll give you some aspects of an excellent wife: trustworthy, honorable, charitable, wise, a hard worker, virtuous, and most importantly, fears the Lord. There are so many more aspects to this excellent wife. Other versions in verse 10 say a “virtuous and capable wife” (NLT) or a wife of “noble character” (NIV). But either way, the beginning of this poem is pointing towards an excellent wife who is difficult to find, just like jewels are uncommon, but are far more precious and have far more worth than one of the most valuable thing on earth.
Other verses in Proverbs talk about what an excellent wife is. Proverbs 12:4 says “an excellent wife is the crown of her husband.” Again, interesting that it relates back to jewels or something of high value…like a crown. A crown is something that dignifies and glorifies someone. It points someone out as highly valued, such as a king or queen. An excellent wife is a woman who brings glory to her husband, who makes him highly valued. More than that, “he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord” (18:22). Our husbands receive favor from the Lord when he finds his “crown.”
What does that mean for me?
All this talk of jewels, crowns, and noble character can seem a little overbearing and overwhelming. I know I struggle sometimes with thinking of myself as being more precious than something as amazing as a jewel, especially on those days when I feel lousy and just not at my best inside and out. And I especially don’t feel excellent when I struggle with my sin nature – not wanting to do the dishes, not wanting to make the house clean for my husband, not wanting to be charitable when I feel like I’ve sacrificed so much already. But in reality, it’s not overbearing or overwhelming. It’s more exciting than anything.
If you’re married, think of what an honor it is that God is using you to bring favor from the Lord to your husband. He’s using you to bring your husband glory. This in turn brings God glory, which is what matters the most! I find it exciting that I can do something to benefit my husband by being Christ like. Being the crown to your husband not only makes you something highly valued and stunning, but it makes your husband highly valued. Your husband is highly valued in two ways. First, he’s highly valued by the Lord, as we talked about earlier. Second, he’s highly valued among the “elders of the land” (31:23). Meaning that your goodness and excellency brings your husband a good reputation; it makes him a good husband. See how exciting this is?? Let yourself be more valuable and stunning than a jewel, let yourself be precious. With a husband that truly loves the Lord and with a marriage that is based on Christ, I can guarantee you that you are more precious than any jewel to your husband. And you are always more precious than a jewel to the Lord. You’re preciousness in turn brings amazing things to your husband and you! God is so good and works in awesome ways!
You are more precious than any jewel.
If you’re single, dating, or engaged, read these verses. You get to look forward to this! It’s not at all bad to begin practicing what it means to be an excellent wife because we as Christians are to be many of these characteristics in our everyday lives to everyone around us. Romans 12 and Hebrews 13 talk about Christ-like characteristics we are to have daily. Hebrews 13:16 says, “Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.” Many of these points described in those passages coincide with the verses in Proverbs 31 describing an excellent wife.
How do I be an excellent wife?
I encourage you to look at the rest of the verses in Proverbs 31 after verse 10. Because we continually have to fight against our flesh, there will be days that you don’t meet the description of an excellent wife. Join the club! I’ve only been married for about 10 months and I can look back and easily remember the days that I didn’t quite fit the description of an excellent wife. But, before I answer this question, this is why it is so amazing that we follow and serve such an amazing God. Where we have our shortcomings, He is right there to forgive us, heal us, and redeem us. His blood on the cross made recompense for these shortcomings. So on those days that we don’t succeed in being an excellent wife, we can turn straight to Christ in full reliance of His help. He WILL help you, if only you ask (Matthew 7:7).
One way to practice and grow to be an excellent wife, even more so than you already are, pick one verse/characteristic and make that your goal everyday for a week. For example, let’s say I pick verse 12 which says, “She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” Now obviously this is something we should do forever, but in this week I would practice doing my husband good. There’s so many different ways to do him good: through my actions, my words, and even my thoughts. On those days that I just don’t want to pick up after him, like that one sock he always leaves next to the couch, I can practice doing him good and pick it up and put it in the laundry. I can do good to him by encouraging him, especially through verses. The list is endless of good I can do to my husband. So pick a verse, figure out what one or two worded attribute or characteristic ties to that verse and practice it for the week.
I would love to hear what verses you pick and how you practiced being an excellent wife to your husband with that verse in mind. How did you apply that verse to your marriage? If your single, dating, or engaged, how did you apply that verse in your daily life?
I want to make a quick note about struggling marriages. Though I don’t personally know what that’s like, I do know that it exists in many different capacities. Whether your husband doesn’t show his love for you making you feel unvalued, if there always seems to be fighting, if he isn’t a Christian, or if you’re straight up angry with him right now, I want you to know that as a Christian, you can still be an excellent wife more precious than any jewel. Though you may not feel of worth, nothing can change the fact that you’re an excellent wife, a rare wife, except you, regardless of what circumstances are occurring in your marriage. And no matter what, you are completely and totally precious, valued, and stunning, inside and out, to our Heavenly Father. As long as you hold onto that, though it may be difficult, you can be the wife God has called you to be.
