I can’t tell you how much I love letters! I love the old school style behind them, the time and effort that goes into writing one, the personable handwriting, the anticipation of receiving a letter, and so much more! Because of my love of letters and my experience with them while my husband was in basic training, I want to share with you some benefits that come from writing and receiving letters as well as ideas to put in your own letters.
As a girlfriend, a fiancée, or wife of a man in the military, it is more than likely that you’ve either already experienced long distance with your man or are going to at some point. But I can tell you from experience that one of the good things to come from these long distance time periods, especially ones where communication via technology is limited, is writing letters. I still have all my letters that my husband (at the time boyfriend) wrote to me while he was in basic training and I cherish every single one of them.
Benefits of Receiving Letters
The Sentimentality Knowing He Wrote It
I remember those many times that I would open my mailbox and see that white envelope with my husbands handwriting on the front, something that I had been anticipating everyday of every week. I would sit on the edge of my bed and read every word as I pictured him writing them, taking comfort knowing that he held this same sheet of paper.
There’s something special about handwriting that triggers a person’s emotions more so than text from an email or phone. Eve Hogan, a relationship specialist, says that “handwriting is just as recognizable as a loved one’s voice and it takes the place of voice when the voice is no longer accessible.” This is so true! Have you ever read a handwritten letter from a loved one and can instantly recognize the tone, the voice, and the personality behind the handwriting? Just seeing their handwriting triggers the same emotions that you would feel had they come straight from their voice instead. There’s something special about that.
Having the Ability to Re-Read the Letters
During those times when the only form communication are letters, there’s nothing better than being able to re-read the words that your significant other wrote you. It is so beneficial to have the letter(s) tangibly accessible when you need to ‘hear’ from the person whom you love.
I was in college while my husband was at basic training. I remember carrying some of his letters with me to school so that I could re-read them when I missed him terribly. We met in college, so walking around campus with the many memories of him were good but hard. Carrying around his letters almost felt as if he were there with me again.
I know that sounds cheesy, but it’s the truth!
They’re a Priceless Sentiment Able to be Kept Forever
Letters are not an email that are placed in the trash folder when your done. They’re not texts that you’ll later delete because your messages are taking up too much of your phone. Letters are a valuable and priceless sentiment that you are able to keep and hold on to forever. There’s nothing like going back to letters received and reading through them again, whether you received them yesterday or years ago.
I can think of one specific letter that my husband wrote me when he was finished with basic training and at his next duty station. We had finally resumed talking on the phone, texting, and Skyping, so writing letters weren’t as frequent as they were previously. But he did write me one letter that is filled with so much encouragement that I return to it many times, even months upon months later. It supplies me with the same amount of needed encouragement now as it did a year ago:)
Along with that wonderful letter, I keep all his other letters in a photo box (along with some other sentimental things from him). That way I know where all his letters are and I can go to re-read them without having to dig through everything wondering where I keep them. I would encourage you to get something like a photo box or a cute container to keep all your letters in. Not only will it show your man in camo that you deeply care about him, but it will show him that you treasure the time and effort he put into the letters. (It also makes for better organization).
What to Put in Your Own Letters
Sometimes it’s hard to know what to write when you just wrote a 3 paged letter a couple days before. If you’re anything like me, then you’ll write as many as you can regardless of how many you receive from him. There were so many times that I would write multiple letters in a week after only receiving one in the beginning of that week. Towards the end of those letters, I felt like I had said everything there is to say and struggled to find words.
Here are a handful of ideas to help you start (or finish) writing your letter.
Verses
There’s nothing better to write to your loved one than verses from God’s Word. Now there’s two different ways you can go about this. First, you can write what you’ve been learning recently from church, bible study, or your own quiet time. More than likely, he will have some sort of opportunity to hear or read the Word of God in one form or another wherever he’s at. But the best thing you can do is to give him more, to spur him on with words from God. Secondly, you can write down a single or couple verse(s) to encourage him (here are further ideas of verses to encourage your man). There were times when God would place a verse on my heart that I felt led to write to my husband. Pray about what words God wants you to give to your man in camo.
Encouragement
Besides giving him spiritual encouragement as mentioned above, there are some other ways that you can encourage your man. Here’s a key thing to remember, anything positive you can say about him will go a long way. Tell him what traits you love most about him: spiritual, personality wise, physical, etc. Men love hearing what you love most about them. It gives them a confidence that positively drives them that can only come from their girlfriend, fiancée, or wife.
anything positive you can say about him will go a long way
Remind him of the strength God has given him in all different aspects of life. This is one big thing that men love to hear, especially from their girl. God designed men to be strong, to be the tough one out of the two of you. That doesn’t mean that you’re not strong too! Regardless of what our culture says, that’s not a bad thing. So affirm him with words that he is a strong man (and not just physically). This encouragement upholds him and in turn strengthens him during his time at basic training, deployment, or tdy (temporary duty assignment/training).
Response
Don’t just ignore what he wrote in his letter, but respond to him. And in depth if you can. Though it’s easier to talk about yourself, it’s always better to talk about the other person first. Your response to his letter should be one of the first things you write in your letter. If you can, continue that discussion about him by responding with questions.
But what if you’ve already written a response letter, are writing a new letter, and don’t know what to respond to now? Ask more questions. Be inquisitive about his life wherever he is. Though he may think it’s dull, asking questions will show you care.
Ask about:
- the food he eats there
- the friends he’s made
- how he’s grown spiritually in his time where he’s at
- the type of training he’s doing, if he can tell you
- what his schedule looks like
- those in authority over him, if he gets along with them, who he likes best
- his family, if he’s heard anything from them
- his friends, if he’s heard anything from them
- things that will allow you to get to know him more (favorites, childhood memories, etc.)*
- the list could go on
*Letters are a great way of communication with your boyfriend or fiancé to continue to learn about him before you take that step of marriage. Though it’s hard, many other couples don’t have the opportunity to have this form of communication as they are with each other constantly. In a sense, you have a leg up from those couples in that you two only have communication to grow in your relationship with him. Use this to your advantage:)
Things Happening in Your Life
I know I just said that it’s always better to talk about the other person, especially first, but it’s not bad to talk about what’s happening in your life too. Keep in mind that your boyfriend, fiancé, or husband undoubtedly misses you and home just as you miss him. Not talking about what’s happening there would be depriving him of a chance to consul his longing for you and his home. Plus, he cares about you too and wants to know that you’re doing okay and that you’re well taken care of.
This is also a great chance to make him laugh. If funny things have happened while he’s away, tell him! Chances are that wherever he’s at is hard on him. So give him something to laugh about if you can.
Send Pictures or Sentimental Flat Objects
Pictures, just like handwritten letters, have a high sense of emotion and sentiment behind it that other things can’t achieve. I know for me, having pictures hung up or carried with me that are of my husband helps me a lot. I enjoy looking at pictures that hold a great memory with him that I never want to let go. It helps remind me of the little features of his face that my brain does a horrible job of remembering.
Pictures help in so many ways. And if we enjoy holding onto pictures, your man will too. I know my husband asked on many occasions if I would send him pictures…multiple pictures. They love having pictures. Just as seeing handwriting can replace a voice that isn’t currently there, a picture can fill the void of the person that is not currently with you.
Send him pictures of the two of you together doing something that you both thoroughly enjoyed. Send a picture of just you. I promise you, it’s not a narcissistic thing to do. My husband holds on to one particular picture that is just of me. He still carries it around even when we’re together. Send a picture of his dog if he has one. Send a picture of friends. He’ll absolutely love it:)
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Letters are a dying art. Many people use text messages and email anymore to send their thoughts, love, concerns, ideas, etc. But text messages and emails don’t have the same affect that letters do. Letters hold personality and sentimentality while other things don’t. Letters can be held onto forever, can be returned to often, and are extremely personable. Even if you are able to talk to your boyfriend, fiancé, or husband via technology (phone, Skype, etc.), it is still an amazing thing for your man to receive a loving letter from you. So I encourage you to take advantage of good ol’ pen and paper to convey your encouragement, God’s words, your love, your care, and your interest towards the man you love.
