What God Says When You Feel Like a Failure

I’ve been noticing a constant and sad trend lately, both for myself and for many of you: we often feel like failures. Whether it’s feeling like a failure in specific areas or in general, we are feeling burdened with not being able to get things right, not doing enough, or not being like that woman over there who seems to have everything together. But let me tell you straight away, this feeling of failure is not from God but from the enemy. So in this post, I want to give you truth that you can fight this lie with! I want to show you what God says when we feel like a failure. There’s going to be some things that are a little hard to hear, but words we as Christian women need to understand. But friends, there is going to be a whole lot of encouragement for you, encouragement that comes from God’s truth.

I pray that for those of you feeling like a failure, by the end of this post you will be more deeply rooted in God’s truth and emboldened to choose to listen to God’s truth instead of Satan’s lies. I pray you will see yourself not as a failure, but as a daughter of the King of kings who we have victory in.

We will fail

Okay… this is a hard truth that we need to understand. We will fail. Why? Because we still battle with sin and flesh on a day to day basis. Because we aren’t perfect. Because sometimes sin is still enticing to us. Paul says it this way in Romans 7:18-19, “For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.” What Paul is saying here is that the battle with sin and flesh is still very much real! It’s something we all struggle with, even after salvation. And we still fall into sin as Christians. We fail to live perfectly because of the sin that dwells in us because of our flesh (Romans. 7:16-17, 20). 

There is hope and there is salvation

BUT! Before you jump into a pit of despair because of how hopeless this all seems, let me tell you the good news by sharing with you these verses below.

Romans 7:24 “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

Romans 3:23-26 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by His grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation [atonement] by His blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God’s righteousness, because in His divine forbearance He had passed over former sins. It was to show His righteousness at the present time, so that He might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.”

Romans 5:8 “but God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Romans 4:22-25 “That is why his [Abraham’s] faith was ‘counted to him as righteousness.’ But the words ‘it was counted to him’ were not written for his sake alone, but for ours also. It will be counted to us who believe in Him who raised from the dead Jesus our Lord, who was delivered up for our trespasses and raised for our justification.”

1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

So yes, we will fail. But through Jesus Christ, through placing our faith in Him and confessing our sins, we are cleansed, forgiven, and counted as righteous. We are not failures because of who Christ is and the gift He has given us. I want you to not look at yourself as a failure, but as a sinner who has been saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ. Write that on a sticky note and put it on your mirror or your steering wheel. You will need this constant reminder as you fight against Satan’s lies. Write down one or two or all of the verses above to root God’s truth in your heart and to push out the lies you are believing.

God says that you alone cannot save yourself from your brokenness. He says that we do fall short of His glory. BUT, He also says that He has provided a way for you. And that is through Jesus Christ. For those of you in Christ, you are saved and redeemed and forgiven. From sins now, from sins past, and from sins in the future. Because of Jesus, you are not a failure.

Stop believing the lies that make you feel like a failure

Now that you have an understanding that we will fail in this life, but through Jesus we are saved from those failures, redeemed, and made new, I want to touch on some lies that you may be believing that are causing you to feel like a failure. One thing I’ve been noticing is that we often feel like failures, not always because of our sin, but because of what we aren’t doing. You’re welcome to scroll down to the lie that you relate to the most, but I encourage you to read them all as they may apply to you down the road or to a friend that you can share this with.

Lie #1: I’m not getting it right

This is a lie that is telling you that you aren’t mastering something and therefore you are a failure. Maybe you’re feeling like you just can’t get your relationship right all the time. Maybe you just can’t get pregnant. Maybe you’re just not getting your house right. Maybe you’re struggling to overcome a heart issue (spiritual, not physical). Maybe you’re struggling to balance and manage your time right. There are so many different lies we can believe about not getting it right. 

But what does God say about this?

God says to rely on Him and trust in Him and pray about these things! Over and over God reminds us that He is trustworthy. He tells us that we can rely on Him. We can trust in His timing, because His timing is best. We can trust in Him to teach us and grow us. We know that we aren’t perfect, but He is! And that is a truth we can rest in. We don’t have to have it perfect. We shouldn’t believe we are a failure because we just can’t seem to get something right. But we do need to trust Him, rely on Him, and dwell in Him because we need Him. 

Whatever you’re struggling with that pertains to this lie, pray about it! Ask God to help you. Ask God to show you His truth, that you may dwell in His truth rather than this lie. Pray that He will reveal what you can be doing, or simply that you would trust in Him. Pray, pray, pray.

If you’re struggling to get something in your heart right because of sin, keep running to the Lord, confessing, repenting, and asking Him to change your heart. Give yourself grace. There are things in each of our lives that we will struggle with until the day we die. But if you continually take it to the Lord, He will help you, forgive you, teach you, reproof you, mold you, and grow you.

Lie #2: I’m not doing enough

Sisters, this is a hard one for me. I believe this lie way more than I’d like to admit. This is a lie that tells you that what you’re doing isn’t good enough and that you should be doing more to make up for what you’re lacking in. This is a lie that seems to target women who hold high expectations for themselves. But this lie is just that… a lie. It’s straight from the enemy and not from God. Satan loves to make us feel guilty. He loves to tell us that we are lacking. And he loves to tell us that we have to be doing more to earn love and approval. 

But what does God say about this?

There are always more things we can be doing in life. However, if you are doing what God has called you to do in the season of life He has you in, then you are doing exactly what you need to be doing. No more, no less. It’s easy to think that we need to be doing more. Earning more money. Working harder. Cleaning more. Staying on top of things 100% of the time. Praying more. Having more motivation for things. Being more organized. Whatever it may be for you, I want you to stop thinking that you need to be doing more for the sake of feeling approved, loved, or satisfied. Read these verses below:

Colossians 3:17 “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”

1 Corinthians 10:31 “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”

Whatever you are doing in life, do it in the name of Jesus and for God’s glory. God doesn’t ask us to be doing more and more. He’s not telling us that we aren’t doing enough. But He does say that whatever it is that we are doing and whatever it is that He’s called us to do, do it to honor Him and bring Him glory.

Satan loves to tell us that we need to be doing more to earn love and approval and feel good about ourselves. This is SO wrong. Romans 8 tells us that NOTHING will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. NOTHING. Ephesians 2 shows us God’s love toward us and that salvation is His gift to us. Meaning it’s not earned by us. It’s given to us. We don’t need to be trying to do more and more for the sake of feeling good. We can find joy in what we are doing right now if we are doing what God is calling us to do and we are doing it in Jesus’s name.

For those that try to do more to earn other’s love and approval, ask yourself these questions. Do the people who you are doing things for already love you? Do they love Christ? Why are you feeling like you need their love and approval? Why do you feel like you may not already have it? Why is their love and approval important to you?

If the people who you are doing things for already love you and/or love you because Christ’s love flows through them, there is absolutely no reason for you to be trying to do more to earn their love and approval. You already have it! This doesn’t mean you should just stop doing anything for them. But it does mean that you don’t have to believe this lie that you’re not doing enough.

Remember that God’s love is all the love you’ll ever need. Even if no one else on this earth shows their love to you, you will never be lacking with God’s love. But thanks be to God that others DO love us.

Sidenote: If you feel the Holy Spirit guiding you to do something, do it! There is a difference between believing we are a failure and need to be doing more and actually doing what God is calling us to do. 

Lie #3: I’m not like her, she has it all together

We know this is a lie, right? Right. But we also know that we’ve compared ourselves like this to at least one woman in our life before. I know I’ve done it! It’s difficult to not believe this lie when we are constantly surrounded by social media that loves to show all the good and never the hardships. This lie tells us that we’re not good enough, that we should be like that woman over there who’s got her life together perfectly. This lie makes us think that we are lacking because we aren’t like her.

But what does God say?

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb… My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them” (Psalm 139:13-16).

God created you! And God created her! But He did not create you to be her, nor did He create her to be you. He establishes each of our steps (Proverbs 16:9). You “are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand” (Ephesians 2:10). For all of us Christians, we have many of the same purposes that God says in His Word. But the way in which we live out those purposes will look different for each one of us. We have different spiritual gifts, different talents, and different likes and dislikes, all used for His purpose to bring Him glory, redeem us, and grow us deeper in Christ.

Your life will look different from hers. Whether on social media or in person, you’re often not going to see what other women are really struggling with. We have this tendency to try and hide our struggles from the rest of the world for whatever reasons. On social media, you are going to see mostly good things. But you won’t see all the internal struggles or the messiness we each have in our lives. We don’t want it displayed for everyone to see all the time (completely understandable). But this will trap us if we’re not careful.

Funny story. A lady that was in the same bible study group as me told us that for years she compared herself to her sister-in-law because she always had a clean and spotless house. She compared herself because she struggled to keep the house clean like her sister-in-law’s for years, with and without kids. But after all those years, she found out that her sister-in-law hired people to clean her house the whole time.

Do you see what I mean? We don’t see the whole picture. God doesn’t tell us to compare ourselves to others and then try to be like them. He tells you to keep doing what He’s called you to do with the resources, talents, and gifts He’s given you. He tells you to be like Jesus. Stop comparing yourself to her. Trust God that He made you to be you, not her. Know that you’re definitely not seeing her whole life picture.

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Wow… that was a lot to work through… even for me. But it’s something we definitely need to process and think through. It’s so easy to start believing the enemy’s lies. And if we’re not actively fighting back with God’s truth, those lies will consume us. As Christian women, we are going to go through times of failure. We will sin. We will mess up. We will make mistakes. But those failures, sins, and mistakes do not define us. Christ defines us. Christ has made us victorious in Him. Christ is our identity, not our failures.

I pray that you will be able to fight against these lies you are believing. I pray that as you grow in your faith and as you spend time in God’s Word that you will see His truth and be able to discern truths from lies. I pray that the truth you learn will help you to squash the lies that Satan actively wants us to believe. Rest in what God says when you feel like a failure, trusting Him and relying on Him. He has made you to be you and He has made you for His good purpose. Choose to listen to God’s truth. Root yourself in His truth. There’s no better way to fight off the times when we feel like a failure.

Consider using your home as a foundation for encouragement – gotta use every resource you’ve got, right? Check out my minimialist digital prints that will bring you (and others in your household) biblical reminders and general encouragement every single day. Remind yourself of the TRUTH and not the lies by having it in front of you wherever you can. Not seeing a verse or reminder you want? Shoot me a message:)

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