Recently, I had a friend asking if it’s okay for the wives to work outside the home. She had heard another Christian wife say that it’s wrong for women to have a job outside of the home. The lady pointed to Titus 2:4-5, “and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” However, she couldn’t figure out whether this lady was right or not. Naturally, this sparked my curiosity to find out whether it was wrong or not for a wife to have a job, especially if you’re a wife without kids, a wife to a husband that is in the military, or a wife in a family that needs two incomes.
It got me thinking that at some point in every marriage, the topic of the wife working is bound to come up. Should she work only in the home? Is she able to hold a job outside of the home? Is she only to take care of her husband, kids, and home? What if she and her husband don’t have kids, is she still able to work outside the home? Many arguments have ensued from different Christian women believing one way or the other. Some believe that according to Titus 2:4-5, wives are only to work in the home and that’s it. Others believe that it’s okay to have a job outside of the home.
So which is it?
Just Looking at Titus 2:4-5….By Itself…
Working in the home can imply that the work you do, your job, is only involved in the home. This includes household chores such as doing the dishes, vacuuming, and laundry. If there are children in the household, it involves taking care of them. If you look at just Titus 2:4-5, then it is easy to think that wives are to only work in the home. For it says that young wives are “to be self-controlled, pure, working at home…” By just looking at this verse, it’s easy to infer that wives are not allowed to obtain jobs outside of the home. Some wives believe that you can’t have any other job than “homemaker.” Others believe that as long as you’re still working from the home, you can do other jobs from within the home (i.e. online jobs).
However, this thinking does not take into account other verses in the Bible that support this verse and further explain this verse. It disregards the meaning of “working at home” as described by the language that it was transcribed from. Nor does it acknowledge the many other stories and accounts of godly wives working outside the home in the Bible, both through the Old and New Testaments. Remember, scripture interprets scripture.
What About Other Verses in the Bible?
Working in the home can also mean working to make sure the house is well-organized and managed. The Greek word for “working at home,” oikourgous, means “producers of orderliness in the home” (Sonic Light Titus Study Notes). This most definitely means that as wives, we are to work in the house to manage it well. But it does not limit Christian wives to just working in the home. What if Paul was saying this as a reminder to young wives, as he so often does in his letters? (Romans 12-15). What if they needed to know that working in the home is something that needs to be done rather than expecting servants to do everything or the husband to do everything?
1 Timothy 5:14 – Priorities
1 Timothy 5:14 points to wives managing a home. This gives us wives a huge insight into what Paul was talking about. It means that we are to be wives that take care of our home and manage it well. This is our first priority. Paul, in both 1 Timothy and Titus, is making it clear to wives that their husband, their children, and their home are to be their priority over anything other activities in their life. But he is not prohibiting wives from partaking in working outside the home.
The Example of the Proverbs 31 Woman – Managed Her Home While Working Outside it as Well
Proverbs 31:10-31 describes a depiction of an excellent wife. Many of these verses point towards the wife managing her home in many different aspects. It shows her working for her husband so that he is honored. It shows her taking care of her children as well as the servants. Verse 27 says, “she looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” She is definitely a wife that follows Titus 2:4-5 as well as 1 Timothy 5:14.
But besides portraying her as a wife who manages her household well, it also describes her as a woman who does work outside of the home. Verse 16 says, “she considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.” Verse 24 says, “She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant.” She is doing work outside of the home that helps to provide and care for her household.
Either Direction is Not Bad!
This is not to say that only working in the home is bad. Many husbands and wives believe that it is best for the wife to stay home to take care of everything there. Some wives believe that they are incapable of keeping a job along side taking care of their husbands, kids, and home. And that is totally okay!
It’s also not bad to work outside the home. But when we look back at these passages, we see the caution from Paul and the work of the Proverbs 31 woman that their primary responsibility is working in and managing the home. If your outside job becomes your first priority or if it begins to hurt your ability to take care of the home, then having that outside job is not okay. Many times, families need both the husband and the wife to work in order to pay the bills on time and lay food on the table. If God is providing through both jobs in order to meet your needs, then praise the Lord. Just remember to check your heart every once in a while to make sure that your priority is not the job, but rather your home, no matter what situation you may be in.
How to Know Whether to Work Outside the Home or Not
There are two things to keep in mind when deciding whether to work outside the home or not.
First, submit to your husband (Titus 2:5).
If he wants you to stay at home taking care of the kids, the house, the dog, or whatever else, then submit to him. If he thinks it’s okay for you to work outside the home, then by all means go ahead. However, you MUST make sure that your first responsibility of managing the home is well taken care of.
Second, work well for the Lord!
Whatever work you do, whether working outside the home and/or working in the home, “give the adversary no occasion to slander” (1 Timothy 5:14) as well as ensuring that “the word of God is not reviled” (Titus 2:5). Colossians 3:23-24 says, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.” We as wives are to serve the Lord by working and serving our husbands and children. If our heart has the right attitude and is not serving selfishly or bitterly, then we will not harm God’s word nor will we give our enemy the chance to harm God’s word through our actions.
Different Wives Situations…What Then?
What if you don’t have kids?
If you re-read the verses in Titus, 1 Timothy, and Proverbs, you’ll see that in each scenario the wife has children. However, these verses aren’t saying that you must have kids in order for you to then have to work at home and manage a home. Remember, the husband is still involved in this whole ordeal. These same verses point towards doing the same for our husbands as we would our children… which is taking care of the home.
Children take up a lot of time and effort. If you don’t have children, then more than likely you have quite a bit of time on your hands. And household chores in a home of just two people can only take up so much of your time.
After I finished college at the beginning of my marriage, I had a lot of time on my hands. I thought I could fill it up with taking care of my husband, our dog, and the house. But I soon ran out of things to do… If I had kids, that would all change. However, in my situation it would be unwise for me to not use the extra time I have after taking care of the house for something else. Regardless of whether it’s for a job or some other activity.
What if you’re husband is in the military and is gone for extended periods of time?
The Lord calls us to not be idle or lazy, but to be wise with our time. Ephesians 5:15-16 says, “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.” If taking on a job that doesn’t interfere with taking care of your husband and house, then it is wise and it is making the best use of your time. You can extend this to partaking in bible studies, group activities, personal hobbies, or working for the Lord in a number of different capacities. The point is, be wise about how you use your time. Know that taking on a job is not in and of itself wrong.
What if both you and your husband need to work to meet the needs of your family?
Then by all means, take a job! If it is better for you as a wife to work outside the home to help support the needs of your family, then do what you need to do. There are times when one income is not enough. But help each other as you also do what needs to be done at home.
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Listen to the Lord as He’s guiding you to either stay at home or take on a job that doesn’t interfere with managing the home. I would love to hear your questions and comments about this. Let me know how you manage the home and have a job, especially if you have kids. Or tell me about how you manage the home with your husband and children. I would also love to hear how you handle this subject if you’re a military wife. I know others would love to hear it (and so would I). Any advice is always welcome!
Titus Study Notes: http://www.soniclight.com/constable/notes/pdf/titus.pdf
November 16, 2023
Thank you for writing this. It did not actually answer the question that has been nagging me, but I enjoyed your wisdom.
My husband and I have 2 children, a 6 year old and a 1 year old. My employment since I first had my oldest has been sporadic. A recent example, I did not work for 8 months while at the end of pregnancy with my youngest and until she was about 6 months old. This entire period, my husband constantly asked when I would begin working again and gave me a deadline. It was very aggravating as I spent the entire first 14 months home with my son while going to school part-time while married to my ex-husband, who was military and bringing an income of about a 1/4 of what my husband makes. We budgeted greatly and were not in any debt other than our vehicles. I was also a single mom for a year and a half making about the same amount, a few thousand less, and still kept up with my finances pretty well and even purchased a home and had minimal debt.
To see my husband be so consumed of the thought that if I don’t bring in a steady income, it punishes our family, it’s very hurtful.
After I began working again after my daughter was born, it was a work from home position, to allow me to still keep her with me while making him happy at the same time. I then proceeded to be able to make 2 full time incomes for almost 4 months while keeping her home and being able to put my oldest on the bus in the mornings and see him get home after school. I was still over all of the household duties.
About 2 months ago, I quit one of the full time positions snd then was soon let go from the other and have not worked a steady source of income since.
My husband constantly asks me yet again, when will I begin working? Tells me thar if only I had a paycheck coming in that we would be able to afford such and such.
My issue is that he devalues me if I’m not bringing in money. Everything I do for our home, him, the children seems to not be considered. Everything I do to save money by taking extra time isn’t considered. Saving daycare and after school costs isn’t considered. His attitude towards me dwindles and it’s very apparent. He spends money we don’t have, he is always wanting or needing some big ticket item. He asks me if it’s okay to purchase something snd if I disagree, it comes back to me not having an income.
Does he forget I made 8 months salary in 4 months? That I have saved us thousands of dollars in childcare and gas and sacrificed any normal “work” alone time that I would get by making it a point to only accept remote jobs?
Why does that not bring value, or why is it not seen? What am I doing wrong? You can’t force a person to see your worth and value. What can I do?
What would be the biblical answer to this problem? 🙁
November 16, 2023
I am so sorry you’re going through all this:( This breaks my heart to read. First off, you are of great value and worth, and you are not doing anything wrong. I am sorry that your husband is not seeing this. I wish I had an answer to help solve these issues. I think your husband is blinded by money and therefore refuses to see how much that is hurting you. If you haven’t talked to him about this, then that would be the first step to take. And I’m not just saying briefly mention it, but sit him down, make sure he’s listening, and be completely open and honest – just like you were here. If that doesn’t do anything, I think you need to bring someone into this situation who you trust and who can help intervene in a sense. Maybe someone from church or bible study, or a trusted friend of both of yours. He needs to see that what he is doing is hurting, not helping. I hope this helps even a little.