5 Things a Proverbs 31 Woman is Not

When you read Proverbs 31:10-31, are you intimidated by the portrayal of this God-fearing woman? Do you feel like this passage creates for you unreachable expectations, causing you to feel defeated and unworthy? I think it’s safe to say that all of us have at one point answered “yes” to these questions. It’s so easy to get caught up in all that this woman is and does. And it’s just as easy to forget the other half of her reality that isn’t described in this passage, but is in the rest of the Bible. So let’s take a look at 5 things a Proverbs 31 woman is not to help all of us see that it is very possible to be a diligent, hard working, and beautiful woman of God in this very real world.

The Proverbs 31 woman is not…PERFECT

Shocking, right? It shouldn’t be, but sometimes it is. If you read through the Proverbs 31 passage, there is not one verse that describes a flaw. All 22 verses highlight good and positive actions and qualities. Yet a fundamental truth in the Bible that HAS to be remembered when reading this passage is that no one is perfect except for Jesus Christ. The Proverbs 31 woman is not perfect. She is a sinner in need of God’s saving grace. Just as we are.

The Proverbs 31 woman is not…SUPER WOMAN

This passage contains a lot of action verses, “doing” verses. She does this, she does that. It’s easy to think that she does it all, all the time. But she is not a super woman. She needs rest, just as God designed from the very beginning. She needs time to herself, just as Jesus needed to be alone. She had good days, where she had the energy to accomplish much. But she also had bad days, where things didn’t go the way she planned. Becauses she is not perfect and she is not a super woman.

We endure the same. We need rest no matter what God is having us do. We need time to ourselves and quiet time with the Lord. We have good days, when things go right. And we have bad days, when nothing seems to get done. And that’s okay!

The Proverbs 31 woman is not…DOING IT ALONE

Read through the passage and mentally note other people that are mentioned besides her. I found 5: her husband (vs. 11, 12, 23, 28), her maidens/household (vs. 15), the elders of the land (vs. 23), the merchants (vs. 24), and her children (vs. 28) (if you find more, let us know in the comments below!).

Her husband is her provider and her protector. Though she works to provide for her household and children, her husband does the same. He loves her as he loves himself, thus providing for her as he would provide for himself (Ephesians 5:28-29). God has given husbands different roles that cannot be filled by the wife. But God designed it that when a man and a woman marries, their roles (though done individually) work together as one body would. The Proverbs 31 woman cannot fulfill the role of her husband and needs him in order that they may work together as one.

The maidens and household noted in verse 15 means that she has maidservants, people helping her around the house. She is not taking care of her house by her self. More than likely, you don’t have maidservants (I sure don’t). But unless you’re living by yourself, you have help from others just as the Proverbs 31 woman did. And you know this mama had her children help around the house.

The elders of the land and the merchants are examples of people that we rely on for help in this world, whether it’s those needed to lead or those needed to help supply goods and services.

The Proverbs 31 woman is not…DOING BEFORE FOLLOWING

It’s easy to view the Proverbs 31 woman as a natural “go-getter.” 14 verses describe her as doing something, and they are not small tasks. To me, I see her as one of those ladies with an over-abundance of motivation. Often times, we see her ‘natural’ motivation as her driving force to doing all these amazing things.

But friend, it’s not. She may be highly motivated or she may not. Regardless, it’s clear in verse 30 that her driving force is the Lord. She is not doing these tasks and then following/fearing the Lord. Rather, her actions and deeds are a result of her faith. Just like Rahab, just like Ruth, just like Mary, and just like you and me.

“I will show you my faith by my works” (James 2:16b).

The Proverbs 31 woman is not…POURING OUT WITHOUT POURING IN

We all know it to be true that in order to give well, you must be fed too. It’s hard to give, give, give on an empty tank. I’m not talking about the trending “self care” ideals. Yes, it’s important to take care of yourself physically. But it is near impossible to give to others (be it time or money or materials) without our cup being filled by Christ.

The Proverbs 31 woman passage doesn’t tell us about her quiet times with the Lord. It doesn’t tell us how she prayed, what she prayed for, what passages she read, what verses were convicting, or what verses gave her strength. It doesn’t talk about her heart, what she needed to rely on the Lord for most, or how she chose to spend time with God. But it is very evident that she valued her faith to be more important than her deeds. She knew the importance of fearing the Lord through her work, but also through her time with Him. She knew that she could not accomplish all she did without allowing Christ to fill her cup first.

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The Proverbs 31 woman IS an example to us

She did not accomplish these tasks without flaw. She did not do it all, all the time. She did not do it alone. She did not do it as a result of her own qualities. And she did not do it without the Lord.

We too cannot serve our family in the ways God is calling us without flaw, without rest, without help, or without Christ. Remember that the Proverbs 31 woman was human too! Remember that she needed Christ just as much as we do. She is an example for us, not a bar set high for us to never reach.