When making any big decision in life, we all ask at one point or another, “is this for me?” Or better yet, “is this where God wants me?” It’s no different when you’re in the situation to wonder “is the military wife life for me?” I’ve come across many women who are dating/engaged to a man in the military who have asked this very same question. And it’s a fair question to be asked! If you’re in this situation right now, I want to help you work through a couple things to hopefully bring you to a more confident answer to “is the military wife life for me?”
Do you truly want to follow God’s will?
What is God’s will for me?
Part of asking the question “is the military wife life for me?” as a Christian woman is seeking to know if that life, that season of life, is God’s will for you. I wish with all my heart that I could give you a solid yes or no, just as I had wished that someone could do the same for me when I was pondering this question. However, I want you to take a step back and think deeply about what is God’s will for your life. Not just this season and situation, but your life as a whole. Take a moment to jot some of them down as they come to your head. Here are a couple examples as well as some passages that you can look at to add to your list.
God’s will is:
-for me to be sanctified, to abstain from sexual immorality. (1 Thessalonians 4:3)
-to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with Him (Micah 6:8)
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Proverbs 3:5
Romans 12:2
Matthew 6:33
1 John 4:16
Phillipians 4:8
(If you have others, put them in the comments below!)
Even though God has a specific plan for each of us, He still gives us the freedom of choice, with the desire that we will choose to do His will rather than our own or the worlds. In this season of wondering whether the military wife life is for you, whether it’s God’s will for you, do you have an understanding of what God’s overarching will is for your life?
Having this foundational understanding will help you know whether becoming a military wife is right (or any situation for that matter). If for some reason your relationship with this man in the military falls out of line with what you jotted down earlier, then seek to make those things right. Not even for the fact of becoming a military wife, but a wife in general.
What about this specific season, is it God’s will for me to become a military wife?
I’ve always struggled to know if making a certain decision is God’s will for me. But it seemed even more so when I was engaged. I was so desperate to make the right decision. So afraid that maybe I wouldn’t, that maybe I’d go against God’s will.
But here’s where it can be different for you. I don’t want this question to eat at you the way it did me. I want you to trust God to lead you through the open doors and guide you past the closed doors. Have faith that His way is the best way. He will show you the open and closed doors out of His love for you. And just as He helps you, you’ll need to do your part, keep your eyes open to where He’s guiding you, and take action to walk through the open doors and continue past the closed doors instead of bashing your way through.
I thought if I waited long enough, God would one day, miraculously and supernaturally, say to me “YES!” or “NO!” But what I wasn’t doing was trusting that through His guidance would be His answer.
Trust Him. Keep taking steps. Keep doing His will that He tells in His Word. Watch for where He’s leading you.
Do you truly love your boyfriend/fiance?
Ever since my husband was shipped off to boot camp, I’ve had women expressing that they could never be a military wife. Each time someone tells me this, I’ve responded “if you truly love your man, you’d do it.”
I don’t think there are many women who, if you ask them, would eagerly jump up and down with excitement to become a military wife. Why? Because they are aware of the many hardships it comes with. And I’m sure you’re already conscious of what it may be like. Regardless, in your search for an answer to “is the military wife life for me?” ask yourself…“do I truly love my man?”
Christ-like love will help you endure
Let’s go back to the Bible for a moment. What does it say about love, Christ-like love? It’s patient, kind, rejoices with truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, and never ends (1 Cor. 13:4-8). I want to focus on the enduring part of love. In the military life, there are challenges of long distance, being flexible to his ever changing schedule, having to play mom and dad for a time, being apart from your family and friends, and consistent unknowns. But, if you truly love your man AND if your relationship is rooted in Christ, then your love for him and his love for you will be able to endure whatever the military throws your way.
Here’s something else to think about in long-term aspects, even if your husband does the full 21 years of military service, you won’t be a military wife forever. Whatever profession he decides to follow next, there will be challenges there too. However, with Christ, there will be nothing that you two can’t get through together.
The Final Question
Are you prepared to be flexible, to be a servant, to be treading the unknown, and to be a godly wife as a military wife for the man that you love and potentially want to spend the rest of your life with?
I’m just going to leave it at that. You know the answer:) If you want to talk further about this, need some extra help or prayer, message me! I’d love to go deeper on this subject with you.
