The military wife life is not doom and gloom. Let me put that out there before I get deeper into this post. The blessings we stumble upon in this role far outweigh the hardships. And what some consider to be the most difficult obstacles to endure as a military wife are actually the beginning of unthinkable gifts from God. There are no doubt a lot of hard lessons to learn in this role. And I want to share with you the 3 most challenging things to learn as a military wife. But more than that, I want to spark your desire to conquer these challenges. I want you to see that these challenges open the doorway to beautiful blessings that will strengthen your relationship with Christ and cause you to enjoy being a military wife.
So what are the 3 most challenging things to learn as a military wife?
-Flexibility
-Contentment
-Breaking out of your comfort zone
Can you already relate to these 3? I am an introvert (more on the extroverted side of all introverts), but these three do not just apply to introverts. Over the past few years, I have learned from other military wives, watched what they endure and experience, and listened to what they have gone through. And I’ve faced many of the same things. So I’m shaking my head “yes” with you, because these are 3 things we all go through.
If you’re new to being a military wife, I really pray that I haven’t scared you off yet! I promise you, even with the difficulties of being a military wife, if you are focused on Christ, you can conquer all three of these challenges!
Challenge #1: Flexibility
The military is known for their lack of consistency. My husband said once, “the only thing consistent with the military is their lack of consistency.” It doesn’t just affect the service member, but it affects their family as well. If you’ve been in the military life for 5 minutes, you’ve quickly learned to be flexible.
What I mean by flexibility is the involuntary shift in schedules and day to day life due to the military. As our service members are being pulled left and right, so are we. And frankly, being flexible to the demands of the military is frustrating sometimes. We have to be flexible to changing schedules, no notice deployments, daily interruptions, and so much more. Rarely do two weeks ever look the same.
How to conquer the challenge of flexibility
It’s tough to learn to be flexible when we want consistency, certainty, and a sense of feeling settled. But it’s something we as military wives must learn. Fighting it won’t help. Getting angry at the whiplashed situations helps no one. So how do you conquer this lesson?
Trust God.
Remember that God’s ways are higher than our ways. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. He plans out our days, our lives. He is in control. To fight being flexible is to fight Him. However, if you learn to trust God with where He’s moving you, with your husband’s schedule, and with the surprise life changes, you will learn to be flexible AND be okay with it.
The beautiful blessing?
Learning to be flexible as a military wife and as a Christian deepens your trust and your faith in Christ. You have the beautiful blessing to use these lessons of flexibility as trust exercises with God. Whether your service member is in for the full 20 or this one contract, the trust you learn to have in Christ now will last a lifetime.
Challenge #2: Contentment
Hands down, this is the hardest lesson for me. A military wife once told me that we are always looking to our next PCS, missing our last location, and hating our current station. The weight of truth in this comment burdens me because it reveals the lack of contentment we all have with where God has placed us (myself included). All of us have our picture perfect lifestyle. And when that lifestyle isn’t met, we find ourselves discontent. Discontent shows that we are not truly thankful for what God has given us, where He’s brought us, and how He is orchestrating our lives.
How to conquer the challenge of learning to be content
When you find yourself constantly cranky with how things are going, when you get frustrated with life, or when you find yourself desperately seeking to change things on your own, you’re probably discontent. And it’s surprisingly easy to stay this way. But how do you quit this venomous repetition of discontentment?
Giving thanks to God consistently.
Over and over the Bible tells us to give thanks. If you’re looking for something to study in your Bible, find as many “give thanks” phrases as you can. There’s a lot. The numerous times it’s said to us stresses how important giving thanks is to our walk with Christ. Giving thanks transforms our hearts, minimizes discontentment, and adjusts our heart to see all that God HAS done for us rather than focusing on all He hasn’t done.
The beautiful blessing?
I can say with 100% assurity that living a life content with where we are and what we have is 1000x better than living discontent. As you practice giving thanks to God, you are creating a habit – a lifestyle – of being content and enjoying the season of life you’re in. And just as with learning to be flexible and trust God will last a lifetime, so will learning to be thankful and content. What you’re learning now will not end when you stop being a military wife.
Challenge #3: Breaking out of your comfort zone
Each of our comfort zones look different and therefore impact us differently as military wives. You may be the introvert who has to break out of your comfort zone and meet new people for the sake of fellowship. Or you may be the extrovert who has to break out of your comfort zone and be okay with not being around as many people. Regardless of what it is, the role of a military wife creates several occasions to break out of our comfort zone… and it’s often involuntary. However, when we break out of comfort zones (whether forcibly or intentionally), we expose ourselves to blessings we wouldn’t have obtained in our comfort zone. It’s one thing to know spreading our wings and taking that leap is good for us, it’s another thing to act on it. What largely keeps us in our comfort zone is fear. Fear of failing. Fear of dislike. Fear of discomfort. Fear of losing out. Fear of not having enough confidence. Whatever it may be, fear keeps us from breaking out of our comfort zone.
How to conquer the fear of breaking out of your comfort zone
It’s no secret that fear is a huge factor in our decision making. But oftentimes, fear keeps us from experiencing the beautiful blessings God has in store for us. Fear whispers lies that our comfort zone is the best place to be. It instills in us the idea that anything outside our comfort zone is not worth venturing into. And it does a good job at keeping us focused on comforting ourselves rather than other people.
What fear doesn’t remind you is that God has given you unique gifts to use for other people, not just for yourself. You have much to offer this world and you have a mission to plant seeds. You are equipped to do the work God has called you to do. I love this saying, “God does not call the equipped, He equips the called.” And right now, you are called to be a military wife who learns to break out her comfort zone for the sake of yourself and others. So how do you conquer this fear of breaking out of your comfort zone as a military wife?
Rely on God.
It’s a lot harder venturing out of your comfort zone by yourself. But it’s a lot easier doing so when you rely on God, rely on who He is, and rely on His promises. Relying on Him includes trusting Him. Just as you have the beautiful opportunity to trust God in learning to be flexible, you have the same opportunity to trust God when breaking out of your comfort zone.
The beautiful blessings?
God teaches you SO much when you step out of your comfort zone. Stepping out requires trusting God, something that learning now will affect the rest of your life and your walk with Christ. When you break out of your comfort zone, you will find several blessings that you wouldn’t have staying in your comfort zone. For us introverts, it may be that you find amazing new friends (like I have). For extroverts, you may find deeper intentionality with those in your home. Regardless of the blessings you receive from breaking out of your comfort zone, learning to rely on God is the best blessing from this. When you learn to rely on Him, there is nothing you can’t face as you look to Jesus.
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Learning to be flexible, content, and to break out of our comfort zones are the 3 most challenging things to learn as a military wife. But they’re also the best lessons we can conquer in this role. God does not have us learn these challenges to beat us down but rather to strengthen us in our faith. What we often fail to see is that God is blessing us tremendously in this role. The gifts we are given by learning to be flexible and to trust His plan, by learning to be content and give thanks in all things, and by breaking out of our comfort zone and relying on God will last our entire lives.
This role that you are in as a military wife is the best place that God has for you in this season of life. So trust Him, give Him thanks, and rely on His strength.
Because it’s worth it.
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