What to do When You’re Frustrated with God

I’m not entirely sure I should be writing this right now as I find myself on the downhill slope from this exact situation…being frustrated at God. Yet at the same time, I feel the need to write down what I’ve been learning, the things that have crossed my heart and mind, and what I’ve done (or in some cases, not done) while it’s still fresh in my mind. As I share these things with you, it is my hope and prayer that you will know what to do when you’re frustrated with God and use them to help resolve that frustration.

Tug-of-war on my heart strings

I don’t like being frustrated with God…even in the moments I think being frustrated with Him ‘feels good.’ In these seasons where I find myself wanting to blame Him, I feel a sort of tug on my heart in two directions. In one sense, I want to dwell in my anger, let it fester, and keep that frustration pointed at Him. Yet in another, I feel a tug urging me to release the frustration, trying to reason with me that I shouldn’t blame Him.

I feel like one part of me wants to remain frustrated, but the other part wants to run to God’s comfort. It’s as if there’s a wall of frustration, pride, and defeat that keeps me from turning from my anger, asking for repentance, and relying on God through the hard situation. If only that wall would come down on its own…with a flick of a switch…easy as pie.

But that’s not how it seems to work, especially when emotions are involved. Do you relate with me in this? Are you feeling that tug-of-war on your heart? Are you struggling to give up your frustration (even as you may start to forget why you’re so frustrated with God in the first place)? I am right there with you friend! So I want to share with you 8 things of what to do when you’re frustrated with God that I have learned to do in this season of my life.

1) Talk about it

I know it may not seem like it right now, but there is such a relief when you finally tell someone what’s going on in your heart. It feels as if part of the burden, the anger, and the emotions are lifted as you share with someone (preferably close to you) why you’re frustrated with God. Keeping it to yourself actually hurts yourself more…and those around you. We as women cannot contain our emotions in a perfectly sealed box. They spill out somewhere…and they usually come out towards our loved ones – husbands, kids, friends, family, coworkers, etc.

For a couple weeks, I kept my feelings bottled up. I didn’t want my husband to know I was angry at God. I didn’t want his accountability. And I especially didn’t want to be shown that I was in the wrong. But it got to a point where I couldn’t keep it in any longer. It had to come out. And when it did, I felt free! Still frustrated, but free. I didn’t have to hide any longer. My husband didn’t have to feel as if I were angry with him. And I didn’t feel so burdened.

I encourage you to talk to someone you trust about what’s going on in your heart. Tell them your situation and why you’re frustrated with God. Allow yourself to be open and vulnerable in order to start a much needed healing process.

2) Journal it

Do you have a prayer journal? If not, I encourage you to get one! The Daily Grace Co. has some beautiful and affordable journals as well as Hosanna Revival. As you’re dealing with angry feelings towards God, write it down. Write what you’re feeling. Express why you’re frustrated. Note your situation. Keep writing until you have nothing else to say.

Now go back and reread it.

Journaling out your thoughts and feelings, either in the form of a prayer or not, helps you to see what’s really going on in your heart. It helps reveal things you may not have noticed before. And honestly, it just feels good to get it out. Sometimes we women need to pour out our hearts in a way that allows us to reflect on it. Journaling these things accomplishes just that.

3) Tell God why you’re frustrated with Him

Are there times where you neglect telling God how you feel “because He already knows”? I’ve done it for sure. But friends! Don’t do that here. You need to explain to Him why you’re frustrated with Him. Don’t make the excuse that He already knows. If anything, Him knowing makes the situation so much better. Unlike going to someone who is unprepared to hear your words and who will likely fight back to defend themselves, you are approaching a God who already knows your thoughts, feelings, and intentions. And we know how He is going to respond…with love, with open arms, with potential discipline (don’t let that scare you), with care, and with understanding.

Just as you would need to clear the air with others, you need to clear the air with your Savior. Because until you do, you will continue to bottle up your feelings, dwelling on frustration that will turn into anger and eventually bitterness. And I definitely don’t want that for you!

4) Ask Him to change your heart

Out of all the things on this list, I believe this is the hardest to do…because it means laying down your pride and you’re desire to try and do it on your own strength. How many times in your life have you tried to change your heart on your own? How often has it actually worked? Probably not very often. Remember that tug-of-war on all our hearts in this season? That’s usually the thing that keeps you from changing your heart. Typically, we want to dwell in our frustration because we’re not willing to ‘give up’ or ‘stand down.’

Yet, when you ask Him to change your heart, even when you may not fully want it at the moment, you are taking a step towards healing. You are showing a desire, or even partial desire, to be reconciled with God. Asking Him to change your heart means laying down your will for His. And that friend, is an enormous step to take.

5) Keep praying

About anything…literally anything. We all have different ways we handle being frustrated with someone. But when that someone is close (such as your husband), you can’t altogether cut off communication. The same goes with God. Yes you may be frustrated with Him, blaming Him for your situation, but don’t quit talking to Him. That is the very thing that our enemy wants you to do. He wants you to cease communing with God because it’ll be easier and easier for him to attack you.

That, of course, is not the main reason why you should continue to pray and talk to God. I don’t want you to pray to God out of fear. But rather, I want you to continue to see your dependence on God. You may be frustrated about one large part of your life, but there are so many other things going on that need your prayer, not necessarily for your sake. Somewhere deep inside you, you know that prayer is important and effective and beautiful. So don’t let your frustration with God hinder you from running to Him about so many other things in life.

I often found myself desperately praying for my husband, even while angry with God (sounds funny, huh?). I felt urgings throughout the day to say “thank you” to Him or to ask Him for help in different areas. I didn’t want to pray about my circumstance, but I couldn’t ignore others who asked for prayer or needed it. So I encourage you to keep praying, keep communing, and keep pushing.

6) Do a Bible study with someone that will help keep you accountable

Just like how it’s dangerous to cut off communication with God through prayer, it’s equally dangerous to cut off yourself from His Word. Girl, I so understand that reading His words are the last thing you want to do…you’re not at all happy with the One who spoke those words. But remember, these words are life giving. They’re words that will heal, fill your cup, remove burdens, and give you strength.

My mom and I started a Bible study at the beginning of this summer to keep us in the Word while our Bible studies were on break. We’d already planned to do this study before I became frustrated with God. But I knew it wasn’t something I could back out on now. Coincidentally (more like the Holy Spirit putting things in place), the study we decided on last year to do this summer is called “Open Your Bible.” There have been so many times where I’ve wanted to quit, tell my mama she’s on her own. But if I’d done that, I wouldn’t have learned some things that needed pointed out to me. And as they’ve been pointed out, sometimes against my will, my heart has been slowly but surely softened.

The same will go for you. As you open your Bible during this difficult and frustrating season, even if it’s just reading a verse a day, God will transform your heart. He will bring healing to your frustration. And your heart will be softened and renewed. The bitterness will be wiped away. The anger that’s eating at your heart will be squashed. I’m not saying that it will be an easy or fast process. It takes work and pushing yourself to crack open the Bible. But if there’s anything I know about you, it’s that you can do it because you have the strength of the Holy Spirit.

If you’re not sure what Bible study to do, try one from The Daily Grace Co. I’ve done several of their Bible studies and have loved them. OR if you’re wanting to try something a little different, try using one of my Bible study guides on a specific book of the Bible with questions to ask while studying, a reading plan, and more (under the Bible Study Resources tab).

7) Listen to the truth the Holy Spirit is whispering to you (and when other’s around you are affirming it)

Over the past few weeks, I’ve had recurring thoughts pop into my head. It’s only until someone close has reiterated those thoughts aloud that I’ve known that it’s the Holy Spirit whispering to me. And in this season, they’ve mostly been small convictions about where my heart is at.

I’m not quite sure how to tell you if your thoughts are from the Holy Spirit or not, but here are some ways that you might be able to tell. Do you keep brushing those thoughts off and dismissing them? Do you think that you’ll just get to it later? Are they thoughts that cause you to justify yourself? Are they thoughts that make you feel like your pride is getting hit? Do these thoughts give you even a sliver of desire to want to do?

If you’re not sure how to answer those questions, then I encourage you to listen to what those Christians, especially the ones closest to you, are saying. God often speaks through others to us, even when they don’t know it. He will affirm what He’s trying to tell you. But that also starts with you talking about your frustration with others.

8) Give it some time…cool down…but don’t break off from Him

Friends, situations that cause you to be frustrated with God are often situations that won’t immediately go away and get resolved. Often times, these things take time. Same with our emotions. It’s hard to flip and switch and suddenly be joyful, happy, forgiving, and loving. Think about when you’re sad, anxious, stressed, or tired. Those feelings and emotions don’t change with the snap of a finger. They take time to heal, time to go away. Same with being frustrated or even angry.

Understand that you need time to cool down. You are human. You are at war with flesh and spirit. You can’t expect that it should just go away today or tomorrow. You may need to take some time. BUT that doesn’t mean you break off from God. It doesn’t mean that you stop talking to Him, reading His Word, going to church, talking to those around you about it, etc. It means that you take the time you need to push past your pride, your anger, and your situation to take steps towards healing (and allowing God to heal) the frustration you feel towards Him.

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I encourage you to take these steps to heart. It’s often easier to back away from the Lord when we’re angry. But if there’s anything I’ve learned during my season of being frustrated with Him, it’s that that is the worst thing we can do. I know it’s hard to know what to do when you’re frustrated with God. Sometimes it feels as if you can’t see past the frustration. Sometimes we’re clouded by an unreasonable desire to want to dwell in it all. But He is showing you truth, and you will know what to do when you’re frustrated with God at the right time.

I pray that these things will help you become healed. I don’t know what you’re situation is, but I do know that there is healing from your frustration. I only encourage you to keep fighting the good fight as you can.

 

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