Friendship. It comes in all shapes and sizes. We have our friends that are more acquaintances, people we have surface level conversations with and may see every once in awhile. We have our friends who we enjoy talking to, getting to know, and allowing them to see quite a bit of our life. But then we have those friends – best friends – who know pretty much all there is to know about us. They’re the ones that can tell what mood we’re in even when we’re trying to hide it. They’re the friends that tell us what we need to hear, not what we always want to hear. That is the friendship David and Jonathan, King Saul’s son and the rightful successor to the throne of Israel, had.
You may have heard about King Saul, how he was not a good king or a king after God’s own heart. And you may have heard that David, the future king of Israel, had a heart after God’s own. But have you heard about Jonathan? Though the son of a crazed man, his heart belonged to God as well. This very aspect of both David and Jonathan would unite them together to form a deep rooted friendship. A friendship that helped David through one of the hardest times of his life.
So how do you find a good, godly friend? Better yet, how can you be that friend?
Characteristics of Jonathan – one’s we should look for in a friend and ultimately should seek to have in ourselves
Jonathan came from a royal line – Saul’s. He grew up with all the riches he could imagine, with immense authority, and with the training necessary to become the next king. However, Jonathan had an important key aspect that his father lacked, trust and faith in the Lord. Because of this, his heart transformed and it showed in his personal qualities.
+He was very well liked, to the point of his followers risking death for him (1 Samuel 14:1-10).
+He was courageous as he trusted the Lord with the outcomes of battle (1 Samuel 14:6).
+He was wise in understanding and discerning who shared the same deep faith he had.
+He was loyal to those he loved without betraying one side (he was loyal to his father who was anointed king as he sought to help him repent, and he was loyal to David, the future king).
+Jonathan was humble. He humbly recognized David’s right to rule, regardless of the fact that he was next in line for the throne. Though most would feel threatened by David, Jonathan willingly and symbolically gave up this right to David through the gifting of his robe, sword, armor, bow, and belt (1 Samuel 18:4) because he knew of the importance of David.
+He was willing to sacrifice himself for what was right and for his friend, even to the point of death from both his father and his father’s followers (1 Samuel 19:4-5; 20:30-34; John 15:13)
The Right Friend at the Right Time
God gave David the friendship with Jonathan right when he needed it. As Saul was seeking to kill David (because of his jealousy and feeling of intimidation to his throne), Jonathan was there to encourage, protect, and strengthen David.
Do you have that friend that always seems to be there at the right time? The friend bonded to your soul because of the foundation in Christ (1 Samuel 18:1)? Or are you feeling that tug in your heart to find a friend that will be there for you when you need them? Don’t be discouraged! Just as Jonathan had the divine opportunity to initiate a friendship with David, God will give you the same opportunity. But you have to have the courage as Jonathan had to seek out godly friendship.
The Importance of Having a Good, Godly Friend
1) Accountability
Whatever we are going through, whether it be a trial or a joyous event, we need to have someone who will keep us accountable. Someone who will encourage us to do the right thing, but will also check up on us afterwards and ask “how’d it go?” As Christian women, we struggle with many things. Just as Paul says in Romans 7:19, “For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.” Because of this very point, we NEED accountability from godly people to help encourage us to do the good that we as Christians want to do, but ultimately struggle with because of our flesh.
We also need someone who knows exactly what our struggles are. My best friend since middle school knows exactly what my weak points are, the things that cause me the most temptation, and the temptations that cause me to sin. She knows exactly what to ask when I’m in a certain situation or when to simply check up on me. At times, all she’s had to do is give me a certain look and I know she’s keeping me accountable. A lot more mistakes would’ve been made if it wasn’t for her.
2) Prayer Partner
James 5:16 says, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” I think this verse says it all! Here’s where accountability comes into play as well. Being accountable to one another, confessing your sins to one another, and then together, praying for one another. I LOVE praying with my “Jonathan’s”: my husband, my best friend, and my mom. It fills my cup as I know their prayer is having great power through the Holy Spirit as it is working in me, in them, and in the people around us.
3) Source of Encouragement/Advice/Support/Strengthening
Sometimes we need to hear certain words that only a close friend can offer us. They know what’s going on in our lives. They understand how we tend to approach certain things. And we know they will give us good, godly encouragement and advice. There were many times as David continually ran for his life from Saul that Jonathan offered him encouragement to continue to survive, advice to know when to run, and strengthened him when David became greatly discouraged. 1 Samuel 23:16 says, “And Jonathan, Saul’s son, rose and went to David at Horesh, and strengthened his hand in God.” Jonathan proceeded to give David encouragement through truth – truth based on God’s words.
We have all gone through very discouraging times, when we feel God has turned His back on us. But it’s times like these that we need encouragement from our “Jonathan’s” to encourage us in the truth God has given us and to strengthen us to keep on going.
Are you a “Jonathan” For Someone Else?
Most of this post has focused on the importance of having a good, godly friend just as Jonathan was to David. But I believe that there is more application from their friendship than how it can help us. Jesus says that He came here not to be served, but to serve (Matthew 20:28). As we seek to become more Christ-like, molded into a Proverbs 31 woman, we need to understand that God has put us here not to be served, but to serve others.
So I have some questions for you.
Is there someone in your life that you are needing to be a “Jonathan” to?
Maybe there is already that person, or even a few people, who you are encouraging, supporting, strengthening, advising, praying with, and keeping accountable.
What can you do this week, and then the next week, and then the week after that to pray with them, encourage them, or provide accountability?
My best friend is currently half-way across the world. My mom is a day’s drive away. And my husband, for the time being, is thankfully in the same location. It can be easy and tempting to get involved with my life here and forget to contact friends, especially when they’re far away. Even with technology at my fingertips, I still struggle to keep it a priority to contact my best friend on a weekly basis. My mom is great at being a “Jonathan” for me, constantly making it a point to contact me often. And with my husband, I have the great opportunity to be a “Jonathan” to him every day as I interact with him daily.
I know that as my best friend struggles with certain things, she needs accountability. Combined with a lack of a Christian community, it makes it that much more important for me to be her “Jonathan.” So with who do you need to be a “Jonathan?” Is there someone that you need to initiate a friendship, and at the very least, open the door for a possible friendship that they may need?
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Finding that “Jonathan” and being a “Jonathan” to others is one of the most beautiful gifts God has given us. It truly represents the relationship we have with Christ. “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” Just as Christ laid down His life for us – showing no greater love – and just as David had a friend willing to sacrifice their life to protect him, there are “Jonathan’s” out there willing to do the same for you. And we have the opportunity to be the same to others out there. So as you continue your “Jonathan and David” friendships or as you seek to find one, know that there is a beauty in these friendships that you cannot find anywhere else. Know that there is a full supply of encouragement, prayer, accountability, strengthening, and advice all based on the foundation of Jesus Christ. All you have to do is act.
